I have a hole in my belly, and my sister is stuffing it!

I went back to see Dr. Wolf, because of the belly fluid problem. Also, because of my abdominal pain. He said that I probably have a low grade infection. McDreamy opened me up and then he poked around inside my belly. This is how it went.

"I'm going to try and draw out fluid with a needle first." I looked at the needle, which was HUGE, and asked if it would hurt. He told me that it wouldn't because I was numb from the surgery. Sure enough, when he poked me with the needle, I felt only the pressure, but no pain. There was also no fluid. So, he had to go to the next step. He asked the nurse to hand him a knife, which had a pretty purple handle. And then he reopened about 1.5 inches of surgery scar. He looks at me, and asks if I can feel it. I can't. By now, I had my hands behind my head and am watching the whole thing. He sticks his finger in, trying to find out if the surgical site was separating. Imagine my surprise if I were to wake up a little too close to my intestines in the middle of the night. He couldn't feel any separation of the surgical wound. And still, I couldn't feel anything. Amazing. So then they packed my now open belly wound with gauze. It turns out they shoved a good 8 inches of gauze into my belly. How do I know this? Well, Lori, my brave sister, has to change my dressings once a day for a week. When she began pulling it out, it just kept coming, like a magician's handkerchiefs. I'm on antibiotics now and have an appointment with Dr. McDreamy Wolf for next week.

Today, I had a taste of some delicious crab cakes my nephew, Elijah, sent to me from the east coast, where he lives. I'm looking forward to eating a whole crab cake when I am feeling better. YUMMY!

Mom is going home tomorrow, hopefully. The weather is getting frightful this weekend, but she has studs and a purpose. I still need help getting up (now, because of my abdominal infection/pain), but she raised me to allow sharing. She needs to see all her grandbabies at Christmas. Lori will be helping me out, and I may be staying with her for a few days after mom leaves. My hope is that the soreness wil go away quickly, after starting my antibiotics.

Here is something very cute and adorable. My 13 yr old neighbor, Christopher, came over today asking if he could mow my lawn, which is currently under 3 inches of snow. How cute is that? He would have mowed it nicely too!

I miss everyone: family, work, friends. I'm very happy right now. My nephew, Jason, just graduated with his Ph.D. in Atmospheric, Oceanic and Space science from U of Michigan this last week. My niece, Channi, just graduated with her Bachelors in Special Education from BYU - Idaho this past week as well. My other nephew, Kevin, will be receiving his Masters in Accounting from Boise State University this next week. Best of all, I just had Verizon Fios installed for digital TV and internet. So, while I exist in pain these days, they are also happy days. I'm so proud of everyone.

The one and only name is Trogdor

When the surgeon discovered he couldn't remove my primary site carcinoid, my sister suggested to everyone that we name it. My nephew Kevin finally came up with the one and only name today. Trogdor, which is very fitting, being something a person wouldn't normally want in their body, but it remains the uninvited guest.

I got a call from several friends in Idaho today who reminded me that I hadn't updated the blog since 12/5/08. I sit here this evening attempting to do just that.

Earlier this week, Sunday, I took a shower. When I got out of the shower, I looked down at the rug and noticed a fluid leaking from my belly at the surgery site. "Oh... this is not good", I repeated several times, trying to figure out how I could put my shirt and sweats on while holding a towel to my belly. As soon as I accomplished this, I left the bathroom, to find my mom. "I'm leaking mom!" I thought I was going to bleed to death. I wasn't, but I thought I was. So I pulled up my shirt and took the towell away long enough for my mom to see this stuff squirting out two inches from my skin. So, we got out stuff together, and on the worst day of the year, we headed out to the local ER. Some of you may already know what this is, but I learned yet another piece of anatomy. Serous fluid builds up in the skin tissue following a surgery. This fluid is normally reabsorbed by the body, but I had earlier leaned against the sink kind of hard, causing a hole that this stuff began to leak out of.

By the time an NP saw me in the ER, I had soaked through three hand towels (folded) and the leak had stopped. She told me what this was and to keep it safe and clean. After 48 hours, it finally stopped for sure. I know that four of my nephews and at least two of my nieces would have said "Cool!" Youngsters are gross like that. :)

Right now, my stomach is so sore that I feel like I did 1000 crunches, only without doing the crunches. I think I was a little too active today. On December 26, I have an appointment with Dr. Patil, my primary oncologist. On January 2, I start my sandostatin shots, in the bum once a month. There are supposed to be no ill-effects from them. When I had my surgery, Dr. Wolf took two biopsies, one of the primary site and one of a spot on my liver. Both tested out to be carcinoid, which is good. That means, no chemo for sure.

I'm safely home

I came home this afternoon with mom and Lori (Friday). We got my prescription of Oxycontin and mom got me a meal of yakisoba and gyozo. Very yummy, although it will fill me up for at least four meals. For dessert, I had a Diabetic Bakery sugar free German Chocolate cake, which made me smile.

I still walk like a bent-over old lady, but have a cane, so at least I won't fall on my face. I appreciate my sister keeping the Blog updated for everyone, and I certainly appreciate everyone's responses. I was surprised to learn that we were going to name "it". But name it we must. I'm still waiting to hear from Kevin.

I had several people come and visit me in the hospital, which made me glad I could wash my hair. They also made my days much happier. St. Vincents is a good hospital and I had one of the really good updated rooms, but it all doesn't mean much feeling lousy. The staff truly helped me through a tough hospitalization. My stomach is sore when I move, but feels ok as long as I'm still. I have to run a few little errands tomorrow, but am hoping to use one of the store electric carts.

I really lost my inhibitions re: my body while in the hospital. I was always ready to show someone my wound/staples, but as I was gladly pulling up my gown, they were diving for a blankie to cover my "nethers" with. Those silly people... :)

Well, I'm tired already, and so will sign off. I don't have my usual sense of humor, but I have an excuse.

Thank you everyone!

love Colleen

Hospital Fashion Show

Today when we went to visit Colleen she showed us the funniest card, then told the funniest story, I'll share. The card had a cartoon picture of three people with hospital gowns opened in the back with bottoms hanging out. The front of the card said,
"Hospital Fashion Shows"
Next Thelma strolls the surgery floor with confidence in this 'sassy' bile green evening gown.
(inside it said) Hope to see your sassy butt out of bed real soon.
It was from some some para-legal friends.
Her story - Earlier today an angel at the hospital washed her hair for her and gave her a brand new straight out of the package hospital gown. She helped her into it and got it all snapped up on the shoulders. Colleen was feeling pretty good and was walking all around her room with the door open, just in case visitors came to call. Pretty soon the nurse came in and asked, "Did you get your gown tied up in back?" "Why no I didn't!" said Colleen blushing on all four of her cheeks. They got her tied up and later that day as Colleen was out cruising the halls the nurse smiled at her and Colleen said, "Thanks, if it weren't for you, the other patients would be laughing at me.
Needless to say, Colleen is getting her sense of humor back. She had quite a few visitors this evening, the nurse had to bring in an extra chair, then she closed the door because we were laughing too loud.
Dr. McDreamie came in, checked her incision and said it is healing nicely. They took her off the morphine (good bye carpet rolls) and oxygen. She is on Oxycontin. She looks, feels and sounds better every day. She was able to eat an egg salad sandwich for lunch and meat loaf for dinner. Life is good. *G* She has gotten some beautiful flowers from friends and family, including a wintry sleigh arrangement from Miss Lovely and John. Flowers from Ebeneezer Scrooge (her boss) and a Garfield cookie arrangement from her private dick friends that she did skip traces for. She loved reading the posts that I took her and is giving grave consideration to all of the names offered.
She asked me to thank everyone for their good thoughts and prayers.

She best's me once again!!!

This is Colleen's sister Lori posting for her while she lounges away in the hospital recouping from her surgery. I have worked so hard over the past few years to develop weird and unusual maladies to stump and befuddle people. Then once again my sister trumps me!
From the last post.... Colleen met with her oncology surgeon. He told her that he felt they should try to take out the primary tumor and by the way they could fix the hernia that she didn't even know she had.
Saturday, Lige, Colleen and I went out to dinner at the Outback where we had a great meal. (Her last until who knew how long) the last thing she ate was a beautiful, delicious banana at just before midnight Saturday. Sunday she spent the day cleansing her system in preparation for the resection. Mom came over to my house to eat on Sunday so as not to torment her by eating in front of her.
Today Mom and I took her over to St. Vincent Hospital at 10:30 am. She got all checked in and we waited until 1:00 when they were to take her in for slicing. At 1:00 they came in and said that it would be another hour, so Mom and I went and ate lunch. When we came back she wanted to know everything we'd eaten. 2:00 came and they said that it would be another hour, so we waited and I snuck out and took a nap. 3:00 came and we were told that there had been an emergency that had dirtied all of the surgery rooms so they were cleaning one and would come for her soon. Finally at 4:00 she was wheeled off for surgery. We went and ate dinner in the cafeteria with Lige. At 6:00 our pager buzzed that Dr. McDreamie was ready to talk to us, so we left our trays and scraps with Lige and ran off to meet the Doc.
He said..... He opened her up and found that the tumor was much more invasive then expected. He tried to do some slicing to remove some of it, but it started to bleed pretty badly, so they stitched and glued until it stopped. He decided that it would be too dangerous to take it out. "Well", we said "how about the hernia, were you able to fix it?" "Well, he said, "That is the weird thing." "When I went looking for it, I couldn't find it. There is no hole in her abdomen." (What did I say about her one upping me?) He did have a couple of ideas of what it was, but no to the hernia fixing. What he did do was take a biopsy of the primary tumor so that they could determine for sure that it is a carcinoid. He also took a piece of one of the blemishes on her liver for biopsy, then he closed her up. We finally got in to see her at 8:00.
She hurts pretty badly and was nervous about staying at the hospital by herself because after surgery she tends to stop breathing when she falls asleep. So I came on home and Mom is staying the night on the handy recliner that flattens out into a twin sized bed. She can guide the straw into Colleen's mouth when she needs a slip and slap her when she forgets to breath.
Mom suggested that since Colleen will be stuck with the tumor in her tummy for the rest of her life she'd better name it, so we are having a contest to name the Carcinoid. All are welcome to participate, she will judge the names and pick one when she comes home. The winner will get a special little something. *G* She will still be in the hospital for 4 - 9 days. The things that they will be watching for is to make sure that the tumor doesn't start bleeding again and that the incicion starts to heal properly without infection.
A nice thing that happened was that the night orderly-nurse came and asked if we were Mormon. When we said yes he asked if Colleen had had a blessing because he could do that for her. How sweet we said, Lige had given her one on Sunday, but she said that she wouldn't mind another one, so he'll take care of her. She wouldn't mind visits from locals in a couple of days. Right now she is sad and hurting.
The nice thing about them not doing the resection is that she won't have to do the "white" diet for a month. She'll probably be able to eat whatever she wants when she comes home. Spagetti with hamburger and mushrooms plus German chocolate cake from the diebetic bakery is at the top of the list.

I go under the knife!

I just read my long-time friend Mechelle's great limmericks from the last post. I laughed until I had to take a drink. :)

Dr. Patil said that my oncology surgeon, Dr. Wolf has movie star good looks. AND HE DOES! Dr. McDreamieWolf gets to look under my hood! I'm so excited. Well, not really because I have to do one of those 24 hour fasts with a nasty drink to "empty me booty". I said that..."empty me booty". He didn't say that. But he did say that I have a hernia. He said "do you know you have a hernia?", as he was palpating my tummy. And I said "why, no, I didn't". And then he said, "Yes, it's right here. I can fix that for you when I do your carcinoid." And I said "SWEET! Two-fer!" And then we went to the next room and looked at the CT scan which clearly showed that I have either a hernia or a black hole in my belly.

(Hey girls, did you catch that Dr. McDreamieWolf is going to "do" my hernia?)

Dr. Wolf will remove the primary site carcinoid, which is next my small intestine, laprascopically. However, he will also remove the part of the small intestine that it is in contact with. It's just a small section, but I'll have to be in the hospital for 5 to 6 days. After which, I'll be home for possibly the rest of December. At work, they said "Isn't it lucky you can work from home?" I agreed.

The reason for my staying at the hospital for so long is that there is a slight risk that they may have left a hole when the small intestine was stiched back together. Wouldn't that be embarassing for a niece or nephew to be sitting at dinner with their favorite aunt and her suppurating belly?

Anyway, I was informed that my still-existent arm pain will be around for a while. Much of my pain is now gone, but my funny bone will be physically healing for up to a year. The pain is from arm muscles hurting from accommodating my deformation. Speaking of which, I should rest my arm for the coming week.

I have a text book cervix... and other fun ditties

In the midst of all this cancer stuff, I had to go in for my annual obgyn exam. My PA, Christie, asked me if I would allow a student from George Fox University to sit in on this exam. So, I told her that if this gal wanted to see me in all my exposed glory, then she deserved what she got.

As Christie was getting a sample from my cervix, she called the student over.

"Have you ever seen a cervix?"
"No, I haven't."
"Colleen, can she take a look?"
"Sure she can."
"Ok, this is what the cervix looks like."
"Wow, its just like the text book."
"Yes, it is. It's a text book cervix."

And so, another chapter in my life is written. Much like my nephew, Kevin, I have a text book cervix.

Tag, I'm it too!

Post the rules on your blog

*Write six random things about yourself
*Tag six-ish people at the end of your post
*Let each person know he/she has been tagged
*Let the tagger know when your entry is up

Six Random Things About Myself
1. I like to tape peoples cell phones shut and then call them
2. I've owned two motorcycles
3. I've danced on the Vegas stage show of "Nudes on Ice"
4. I'm nude under my clothes
5. I used to play the trumpet for fun
6. I can imagine seeing my sister Lori flapping in a west coast storm like a wind sock because she chose to wear overalls

I tag Channi, Kathy, mommy, Lori, Barb, and Gloria and whoever else feels like doing this tag.

Butt Shots it is! No Chemo

I can't believe that I just did a whole column about my latest updates and then closed the browser window without saving! :( So, now I have to rest, make some puzzle, eat a piece of sugar-free german chocolate cake and start over again. I'll think I'll work on the easy part, leaving all the green vegitation for mom.

In short for now, no chemo, but will get monthly sandostatin shots for about a year. Carcinoid primary site may be surgically removed, we'll know more on 10/28/08 about that. I'll have this for the rest of my life, which is expected to be a long and fruitful one. The shots will make the carcinoids go inert, making them stable.

Later!

My Bossie Sister Lori and Auntie Susan....

...are making me update the blog when all I want is to luxuriate under my cat, who would be keeping me conveniently warm. But he'll be still there, whereas my auntie and sister will also be there, but won't be bugging me. So...

The Octreotide scan of last week was kind of funny. I had to lay on my back with my hands and arms folded above my head for up to 2.5 hours. Knowing that it would be difficult for me to hold that position, the good looking med tech (named Brent) asked me if I'd like him to wrap tape around my wrists together, to help keep them in place. I've had enough scans and have had to "hold a position" without help to know that I really needed the help. After all, how can I take a nap and hold my position? So, he wrapped tape around my wrists, when they were placed above my head. I also have a warm blanket covering me, which was very nice.

Brent was adjusting my position under the scanner, which I was laying under, when he said "can you show me your crotch area?" He needed to know where it was as a reference for the botton of the scan placement. Obliging him (not ogling him), I moved my bound hands down in the direction of my "crotch area", but couldn't reach over my tummy's summit, so I had to sit up (such as it was) to get over the tummy summit. All the while I was thinking, I can't wait to blog about how he wound my wrists up together and then asked me to show him my "crotch area" over my warm blankie. Task accomplished! And then I did nap, and it was A-OK. I went back the next day for an additional few scans and then I was done.

I had my second radiation treatment today, which went well. It took me 45 minutes to drive to and from the hospital (which is only 10 minutes away from where I work) and only 5 minutes to do the treatment. Go figure.

I'll continue these scans until October 20 (Monday), going in every morning. On this coming Friday, Mom and I will find out about the primary cancer site treatment. I believe I'll be getting chemo for about 6 months, based on the scenario where it isn't a carcinoid. When I was getting my Octreoscans, I could see the image forming and there wasn't a carcinoid in it. It will only show a carcinoid, not a small cell carcinoma.

I've been getting regular calls from Providence Cancer Care staff to check in on my well-being and to see if I have questions or need anything. Also, I will be getting an appointment soon with a nutritionist, who will go over my special needs diet during the chemo treatment (taking my diabetes into account).

Well, I need to retire to the couch to watch a movie. :)

I'm a tattoo'd hoochie-momma!!!

Today, I started radiation and my arm hurts. I'm not sure why. They had to give me three small pin sized tattoos around the spot that is being radiated. You would hardly be able to tell them apart from my old people dots. The procedure was painless, but my skin is slightly sore, like a sun burn and my arm just hurts, like I've been using it all day. So, this entry will be short tonight.

This coming Friday, mom and I will be going to see Dr. Patil to get the rest of the diagnosis and treatment. I'll write a lot more maybe tomorrow...

I'm going to sit now and be very quiet.

Butt Shots? Full-moon Gilberts... move over!

Yesterday, I went to my appointment with Dr. Patil, my primary Oncologist. Mom and Lori came also because I am their only entertainment. I had hoped that a definitive treatment plan would come out of this visit, but alas... That wasn't to be. Everything rides on the Octreotide scan being performed next Wednesday. This scan will definitively state whether my primary cancer is a carcinoid of the mesentery or a small cell tumor involving the bowel. Also, it will show if two possible spots on my pelvic bone are metastasized around the ilium.

There are three possible scenarios.

1) Small cell tumor in the primary would lend itself to radiation for my arm and about six months of aggressive chemo.

2) Carcinoid primary, pelvic bone involved; then radiation to my arm and possibly my pelvic bone. Surgery is possible, but not necessarily so. No Chemo, but a biological shot in the butt once a month for possibly 5 years.

3) Carcinoid primary, pelvic bone not involved; then radiation to my arm. Surgery to remove carcinoid in the mesentery. No Chemo, but a biological shot in the butt once a month for 2 - 3 years.

Dr. Patil told me that I'd eventually become bored with coming to his office.

Tomorrow morning (Sunday), I have an MRI scheduled at St. Vincent's of my whole left arm. This is being done to get the exact tumor location in my arm. It shouldn't take long after that to begin radiation on my arm. This is what I'm most looking forward to, because even writing today's blog is very painful.

I'm scheduled for a follow-up appointment with Dr. Patil on 10/10/08 to determine what the other course of treatment will be. The chances are really good that I will get no chemo, and therefore not lose my hair (much to everyone's disappointment). Mom will drive up for this appointment, but alas... Lori will be in Idaho. I will have to recount the dialogue in that appointment to Lori using interpretive dance. I may even through in a ribbon dance if it is specially good news!

Scans Amuck! And an additional diagnosis

This week has been full of scans, IVs, isotopes, "hold that position for 30 minutes...", "40 minutes...", "20 minutes...", "drink this tasty contrast smoothie", "oh, I found you, drink this second contrast smoothie", "yes, it's not a joke, finish the rest of this smoothie".

On Wednesday, I had a PET scan at St. Vincent's Hospital. I was only able to eat meat on Tuesday and nothing Wednesday before my 10:00 AM appointment. No medicine this morning. No Metformin (diabetes medicine) Tuesday evening. A smart tech doesn't try to put the IV into my right arm and goes straight for my hand. He put some isotopes in me and told me to take a nap with a warm blankie. About 30-40 minutes later, he came for me and we did the scans. The isotopes absorb into my cells, but absorb into cancerous cells faster and my cancer locations show up like Christmas lights in the resulting scan.

On Thursday, I didn't take my medicine again in the morning and didn't eat, which I would be glad for later. On this day, at Newberg Providence Hospital, I had an MRI of my head/brian and then a CT scan of my torso. Please don't ask which torso. :)

The gal insisted on putting an IV in my right arm vein, and in fact tried unsuccessfully to do this. She is the third person over the previous 3 or 4 IVs that has dug my arm apart. They decide to get another hot shot with a needle and this guy came down and was finally able to get a vein. They took MRI shots of my head, and then shot me full of some isotope stuff and shot up my head again. The gal then told me to get dressed and ask the receptionist in the imaging lobby for my contrast smoothie, which I would need for my CT scan.

I walked out to the lobby, and the smoothie gal giggled when she saw me, and before I could even ask her, she had sprung up to get me this scary contrast smoothie that was supposed to taste like berries. I asked her if it was nasty and she smiled and handed me a straw. I ended up gulping the 16 oz cup down and was glad when it was finally gone. I had been sitting doing a jigsaw puzzle in the lobby, waiting to be called for the CT scan and about 30 minutes after the first cup, she tracks me down and hands me my surprise second 16 oz cup of "tasty" smoothie. This time, I also drink it as quickly as possible and am glad that I haven't eaten yet. I was full of "tasty" smoothie and wasn't amused. About 30 minutes later, the CT tech gal came out for me, swinging the remainder of a bottle of "tasty" smoothie and I tell her that she must be joking. They all think they are funny there. I finish it off quickly, get dressed down again and lay still for the next 15 minutes. By far my least discomforting scan. At one point, the CT gal power-pushed another type of isotope-radiative stuff into my IV. As I was leaving, she informed me that I couldn't take my Metformin for another 48 hours. Will anything ever be normal again?

Today is Friday and this morning, mom, Lori and I went to see Dr. Hansen, my radiation oncologist at St. Vincent's. As we were waiting in the examining room, I commented that he was probably going to want to examine my forehead. He would ask me to get into the stirrups on the examining table and then he'd put on his long green arm sleeve. Later, when he was giving me a physical examination, he rolled his chair in front of mine and told me was going to start with my forehead and I started to giggle. He asked me if I was ticklish and I just said that we'd made a forehead joke earlier.

Dr. Hansen had received the scans done this week and the previous day had spoken with the Radialogist about the results. They have located my supposed primary cancer spot. There is a carcinoid about a quarter in diameter (I don't know how long) that is in the mesentary surrounding my intestines. The mesentary is the lining that holds my inner parts to my abdominal wall. No cancer in my brain, lungs, liver, kidneys or other major organ. That's a good thing. It might require a surgical removal, but that will be up to Dr. Patil.

Dr. Hansen wanted me to get an additional MRI of my whole left humorus bone so he would know exactly how much to radiate. He is also ordering an entirely new scan, the Octreotide scan, which is supposed to be more accurate than a PET, MRI or CT scan. These two scans will happen next week. Dr. Hansen will call me next week with the results. On Friday, Sept 26, I go to see Dr. Patil, my original oncologist, who will divulge what my primary cancer site treatment will be (I hope). Radiation will be 10 treatments over 2 weeks, but won't start for about 2 more weeks.

At this point, I have no idea about anything else. I didn't expect to be told any results today, but everyone seemed pleased with them and we celebrated with breakfast at Denny's. Then I went back to work. I'm tired of people digging for veins that delight in hiding, holding still in painful positions for untold minutes, and of fasting and not taking my meds. But at least the doctor didn't green arm me to examine my forehead.

Cautious Optimism

Those are my words to describe today's appointment. Dr. Patil said that this was an unusual case because I had no obvious signs of a primary source. Nothing other than my arm. He explained that sometimes a metastasized site is the only evidence of cancer. The primary site will sometimes just die or go away, leaving secondary sites. Next Wednesday, I'm scheduled for a PET scan at St. Vincent's and a CT upper torso scan and MRI brain scan at Providence Newberg on Thursday. Friday, September 19, I will meet with my radiology oncologist, Dr. Hansen, at St. Vincent's, which is just down the street from where I work in Tigard.

Basically, barring a surprise finding of a primary site, the plan is radiate my left arm, and blast all of me with chemo, effectively making me throw up gut bombs, lost my hair, and kill any remaining cancer cells that may be hiding inside me. And when I'm declared cancer-free, mom is going to buy me King Crab (eat your heart out, Whit!). Actually, today's news was so good that I'm getting crab tomorrow night at Outback.

Mom and Lori went with me to today's appointment, which I was very glad. For me, it was just another step in the process. For mom and Lori... Well, when the doctor was leaving the room and told us to wait in the waiting room for an appointment to be made with Dr. Hansen, I turned to go out the door behind the doctor. Lori and mom kept saying "close the door!" and I couldn't understand why, because the doctor told us to wait in the waiting room, and everyone knows what a rule follower I am. So, I had nearly closed the door and mom and Lori began jumping up and down, Lori nearly knocked me over (I almost had a concussion, which would have been embarrassing to explain to Dr. Patil) to hug me and tell me that I wasn't dying. Mom smiled for probably two hours straight and commented that she could eat now. She did. She had an extra piece of BBQ chicken with dinner and had a jello dessert later, and then had some little snacks at my house. Mom even danced a jig.

Lige's blessing earlier this month was very effective. I think my family is feeling more relieved an excited than I am right now, but I haven't even had time to bottom out in despair. This has all happened so fast, and today is just another day on the way to wellness. I still have some tummy tossing and hair lossing to do, along with trying to work and pet my cats.

I'll probably have more later, but my elbow is sore and I want to watch Airplane with mom.

Later!

tomorrow is the day, kinda...

Tomorrow, I see my oncologist for the first time. What I want for tomorrow is to get scheduled for both radiation (my arm) and a body scan. I know he won't be able to tell me where the primary source is, but I can't wait to get things started.

Mommy and I saw Tropic Thunder tonight. After the movie, while mom was picking her jaw off of her chest, I came up with a simile. There were more "f's" in that movie than in a class of high school dropouts. Mom and I have been playing the simile game this week. Please join in!

My mommy's here!

She's here to take care of me, although I don't need much taking care of yet. She brought fresh red bell peppers and tomatos from her garden, yummy. In two days, we'll go to my oncologist and find out what happens next. I'm doing ok, just sometimes need a pep talk and a couple of excedrine. Tomorrow, I'll write about mom's childhood pet racoon "fudd", named after a local fellow Fudd Nelson (no relation). And she used to give me a hard time about my pet opossum Jack. But more tomorrow... nitie nite

And the colon results are in!

I received a call late last night from Dr. Muveety regarding the test results on my polyps. They were adenomatous polyps, or pre-cancerous but benign. This all means that my colon/rectal area is a shining example of normal. Well, not so shiny now. It's a pumping machine!

Yesterday, I received the news that I was assigned an oncologist in Newberg. Dr. Patil will be seeing me on Friday, September 12. My uneducated thoughts are that he will get me started on radiation for my arm and schedule me for a full body scan of some type. I won't know anything more until he gets the scan results back. It might mean more tests or starting me on a therapy.

How am I doing now? I'm finding that it doesn't take as much for me to stress out now. I've also noticed that my affect is very even. I don't get or feel really excited nor upset, but I can laugh and have fun, so that part of me is working well. I'm getting in touch with the Providence Cancer Center to learn about my support options. I'm trying to identify an appropriate diet and have begun walking (not marathons, mind you). I want to find someone who's going through something similar so we can commiserate or compare notes and such.

I have a pretty colon...

I had my colonoscopy today. After all that fasting, they took me in, hooked me up and I got to see the whole thing on the big screen. The hard part was fasting for two days before, the easy part was the actual procedure. If you ever get a colonoscopy, watch it! I had one because I was certain I had polyps and the possibility that this might be where my cancer was hiding. They did find a nickel sized polyp and a much smaller polyp, which were both removed. Because they were soft and pretty, my doctor thinks that they are probably benign. I will hopefully find out by Friday or early next week. However, the appearence of my nether region was absolutely breathtaking. Did you know that they pump air into your colon and then afterward, they tell you to "release it"? It's like getting a freebie in public! It was as good as burping after a great meal. The nurse told me that I was a good patient. :)

Anyway, I felt very positive after this procedure. Something is still lurking somewhere, but we'll find it soon. I was finally referred to an oncology clinic today and I should be getting a call from a doctor's office regarding getting me all set up. Next is that they will start radiation on my arm and get me some type of full-body scan where we can nail this thing down.

My boss, David Lowry, bought me a couple of cancer help type books and a great nutritional guide book. He's so thoughtful.

Sometimes I am sad, but mostly I feel like I'm riding a wave of happy, hopeful thoughts and energy that keep me from becoming mired in despondancy. Everything I've been hearing about beating cancer is that survival of this or other diseases is half medicine and half spirit. I see broken spirits in the faces of my law firm's clients who come in with any combination of informaties and they are just beat down from every angle. This year, we've lost about 10 clients (that we know of). So much of what finally gets them is all the negative energy, feedback, fighting to get any ounce of relief, loss of emotional support, that there is no spirit left to survive on.

I am a skipping rock and I'll keep going until I reach the other side. There is no alternative. I'm so thankful for my family and friends for making this journey easy. I'm not alone and that makes all the difference.

My house has been burgled!

I came home today, sad and weak because I was hungry, expecting to have to clean up my fantastic messes. And it was cleaned up! I saw parts of the floor that had previously moved on their own!

Lori had snuck over while I worked away and cleaned my living room and some other areas and vacuumed and did some washing (from my fridge misdeed the night before) and I could sit and rest my weary body in preparation for this afternoon's posterier show.

Oh yes, and I was finally referred to the oncology clinic, so I should be getting a call soon to get things started.

SSsss......

So, later in the evening (10:00 PM), I hear something leaking. I look behind me and check my pants, but they are dry. Then I check out the fridge and discover a leak in the water line connected to the back. After I got over my dispair, I called Lori and Lige (because I didn't know what else to do). Since I haven't eaten since yesterday and am faint, and because of all my "drinking", I can't bend over to clean, fix, or even pray. They thankfully came over and helped me out. It's not fixed, but it isn't leaking and I have running water tonight, which I'll obviously need. And I'm still not done drinking that yuk!

It All Started....

I just drank 8 ounces of this liquid stuff that is supposed to clean me out for a colonoscopy tomorrow. In about 10 minutes, I'll repeat and hopefully begin making multiple and successful trips to the potty...

About two years ago, I noticed a pain in my left elbow. Having spent countless hours doing Sudako on a TV tray in the evenings, I was sure it was because I was leaning on that arm. So I tried not leaning on the left arm, for months. No relief. Then I discovered that I always napped on my left side, drawing my left arm tight against my ample bossums. I thought that I was over-extending the joint, so I stopped laying on that side. The pain continued. Late last winter, it was appearant that the pain was not only not subsiding, but was getting worse and was traveling from my shoulder to my forearm. Sudden jolts to that arm would practically drop me.

I went to my primary care physician, who prescribed anti-inflamitories and several months of physical therapy. While both helped, by allowing me to recondition my now weakened arm, my pain continued to increase. In the space of 2-3 months, I went through my entire stash of vicodin, flexeril, and norco, that I got back in 2002 when I had three surgeries. All gone. I went back to the doctor, and was given an X-Ray, which looked great! Now, I'm thinking that it must be somewhat in my head and I felt bad about all the work being done. No results, so I was finally referred to an orthopedic surgeon in Newberg. Great guy, who ordered an MRI of my elbow. He identified a bone tumor and referred me to the only orthopedic surgeon who also specializes in bone tumor. Off I went to Oregon Science Hospital University in Portland to see Dr. Hayden. Good guy, but he has a lousy scheduler.

Right now, the top of my left shoulder joint hurts and I have to drink the next 8 ounces. Just a sec... Yuck, I'm going to be up until midnight drinking this stuff. I have to drink 3/4 of a gallon tonight and another 1/4 gallon tomorrow. I want solid food really bad and that makes ME MAD!!! @)(#$&#@($*&#@!!!

Ok, so Dr. Hayden schedules me for a CT Biopsy, which is where they took three needle samples from my humorus. I was pretty much out until the last sample. My nurse was holding my hand and when I felt the pain, she said "squeeze!" and while I didn't really need to, I did anyway - really hard! And I screamed a bit too. Right now, my left bicep is beginning to cramp like a vice grip. Lori took me to and from this event and I made it ok. I thought I'd be able to work the next day, but after 2 hours of staring at my monitor, my boss let me go home. I passed out for the rest of the day.

Ten days later, last Tuesday, I got my diagnosis (Dx). Lori went with me because two sister heads are way better than one. I was told that I had metastatic low grade neuroendocrine carcinoma and that it was pretty rare. He had it expected it to be lymphatic in nature and he's only Dx's four of these. I feel so special. In three more minutes, I get to drink about 8 ounces. He said that I would get 30 days of radiation on my arm and that he'd refer me to an oncologist in Newberg for a full body scan (or PET) and the rest of my oncologies needs.

The nature of this carcinoma shows that my primary source is Stage IV (because it traveled to a distant organ - my arm) and originated in my gastrointestinal tract. I have no idea beyond that. On the same day I got my Dx, I dropped of the report at my primary doctor's office. He called me the next day and after our discussion, he had scheduled a colonoscopy. The gastroenterologist doing this procedure, Mulveety, called me about 6:30 PM last Friday to talk about my circumstances and at 8:30 PM that same night, his assistant called me to schedule the procedure.

Oh, drinky time...yuk!

Compare my Newberg doctors quick actions with my OHSU's Dr. Hayden. He was good, but his assistant still hasn't scheduled the oncology part. I was told to call and ask for her last Friday if I hadn't been scheduled. I called and she was at lunch. I left a message and called back later in the afternoon, but she had left for the long weekend. No word. I called again this morning and was told that she was on the phone with a patient, but oh wait... she just got off the phone... oh, she just left for lunch. I left a message. No call back. I was telling a coworker about this and how upset I was and Gloria got all "mommy-mad" and called the office herself at 4:30 PM this evening and the office was closed.

And so it goes... tomorrow, I'll call my primary care physician and ask if he can intercede. Barring that, I will be giving my mom the phone number. One way or the other, I'm going to be RADIATED! :)

Enough for now.